photo credit: Eiji Fuller
On May 4TH 2008, my life changed for the worst. It was on that day that an ambulance picked me up in an alley. It was on that day that I woke up from sedation only to discover I was strapped to a bed with a mask on my face. It was on that day that a doctor had asked my friends if I had used drugs and when the answer was “no,” it was on that day talks of Bipolar 1 began circulating.
Before that day, I didn’t think I’d ever shown any signs of Bipolar 1. I had gone through a small handful of dark depressions, but I’d never experienced paranoia, auditory hallucinations or delusions. When I asked a college buddy if she had ever noticed anything, she did say it seemed I had endless energy, but it didn’t seem out of the ordinary for a college student.
Sometimes I think of the ticking of my clock. Knowing this isn’t a curable situation. Knowing it’s just a matter of time before the next big one hits.
On May 4th, 2008 my life changed for the best. I may not have been able to see that for years and years, but now I see all of this beauty around me. Beauty I couldn’t have dreamed up. Because of this illness, I am more compassionate, understanding, resilient, accepting and the list goes on. There seems to be endless opportunities for me to make a difference now.
As a musician, out of necessity, I process my experiences through song. It’s the perfect podium for positive change. A perfect opportunity to elicit a subjective emotion with an objective shift in thought and perception on what mental illness is all about in the listener.
I always talk about my illness, especially at shows. Without fail, someone always comes up to me after a show sharing stories of their depressions. Sharing stories of loved ones committing suicide because the weight became too much.
Every coin has two sides. When I see mine flip wildly in the air I have to wonder which side it will land on—the best or the worst, but I know regardless of the outcome, there is worth.
photo credit: Megan Glynn
Be sure to visit Veronica’s website to purchase her brand new album, Awakened.
Click on the ‘Buy Now’ tab to purchase a signed copy of the CD. Veronica also has her own blog featured on her website titled the ‘Bipolar Biweekly Blog.’ She shares regularly how Bipolar 1 affects her life.
You can also follow her on ReverbNation and listen to select tracks from the album.
Visit her Soundcloud page as she is currently adding a track a day.
Awakened can also be found on iTunes and Spotify.
If you live in or around San Diego, California, you’ll want to catch her at a gig soon. Maybe we’ll see you there!
June 11, 2017
Songwriter’s Acoustic Showcase / 7:30 – 9:30 pm
June 24, 2017
Solo Show / 7:30 – 9:00 pm
- Java Joe’s
- 2611 Congress Street
- San Diego, CA, 92110
Additional dates can be found on her website under the ‘Events’ tab.
“There is hope, in the emptiest hole
There is hope, when there’s nowhere to go
There is hope, when you’ve lost everything
There is hope, when the demons cling
There is hope.”
Lyrics by Veronica May
“There Is Hope”